Triple Threat

It’s always alarming to learn of rampant viruses hitting the neighborhood. Early summer reports of the brain-eating amoeba typically contracted by dive-bombing into freshwater lakes and ponds were somewhat off-putting. Harmless if ingested through the mouth, the pressure of water rushing into your nasal cavity apparently pushes the amoeba far enough into your head that it migrates in search of some tasty algae and makes do with a simple supper of brain tissue. I had seen a 20/20 news report on some cases in mid-west lakes but the idea of New York playing host was a little tough to snort or swallow.

Now in recent weeks, the Capital Region has had its first case of West Nile Virus, blamed on this season’s proliferation of storm-imported mosquitoes. Thanks to Hurricane Irene, and enough incessant rain to prompt endless Facebook jokes about Ark building, the ground is saturated. Every new rainfall transforms back yards into standing water swimming pools. Friends who bought a local new home this summer sent around a photo with them mock swimming in the giant puddle that used to be their back lawn.

I had no idea there were agencies out there charged with mosquito eradication efforts. That is, until I heard Chris Horton, Superintendent of aptly-named ‘Berkshire County Mosquito Control’ giving a helpful interview on the news: "They’re diabolical. The mosquito knows when water's receding from a flood plain; it knows that water will flood again and it lays its eggs on the edge of that water. When the water comes up the egg instantly hatches into larva and starts its development." That explains why every wellie-clad stroll across the back garden prompts swarms of mosquitoes to rise up and dive-bomb anything with a pulse.

Just exiting the car requires a military strategy to avoid the mosquito ambush. And, now, with school photo week coming up, all the Pre-K children look as though they have been afflicted with a strange spotted pox. Between the post-Hurricane Irene mosquitoes and the usual collection of pre-school bruises, our offspring look like protégés from a Mike Tyson boot camp. Our youngest has a bug bite under his eye, and another on his eyelid, adding just enough puffiness and reddish-purple glow to pass as a shiner. The elder breaks out in huge swollen welts with each bite. Each morning at school, children arrive in clouds of California Baby and Skin-So-Soft while Mums and Dads line up giant bottles of organic, Deet-free bug repellent next to lunch boxes for quick re-application.

The physical assault doesn’t stop with mosquito bites. Just a few weeks back at school and the children are covered with bruises from playing umpteen rounds of something close to ‘It’s A Knock-Out’ on the playground. Last year, I counted twenty-eight small bruises on my daughter’s legs, imagined some ghastly inquiry, and decided I had to bring it up with the teacher. I needn’t have worried. Apparently, the rough and tumble on pre-school playgrounds and clumsy nature of little legs shod with sensible but clumpy Stride-Rite footwear is a known lethal combination.

This week my son returned to pre-school with a long green bruise down his cheek, the result of acrobatically toppling into the edge of an open fly screen door. He’s pretty pleased with the look; makes him a dead ringer for a pirate. I’m less thrilled about the effect in school photos. I’m guessing it won’t make this year’s Christmas card.

Despite the shiny lunch boxes and new shoes, back to school has headaches beyond bug bites and bruises. My four year old has plenty to say about staying all day on Tuesdays. Her dissatisfaction is first voiced on the school run and again at key points during the day, namely lunch and afternoon snack-time, at which point she snags a teacher to assist in writing frank letters of indignation. The early written protests have softened a little since the start of term. We’re down to just one firmly worded letter a week, typically stating: “I do not like having to stay at school all day. But I do like school.” We appreciate the afterthought. The modification came after we suggested her demands to be released “from jail” might unnerve her classmates and teacher. Judging by the artistic output she’s managing to have a very productive time, and, in a school where children and staff are already on first-name basis, she clearly has free rein to publish her feelings of injustice.